Monday, May 21, 2012

thinking..

Once again, i am thinking abt a lot of stuff. Stuff that will make me emo, stuff that will make me question myself, stuff that i wish i have someone to confide in. At that is one question on its own. This always happens when i am all stressed up. :(

Just have to stuff everything back into some part of my head, find that little light in all this and walk towards it. Somehow someway i will always overcome this, but i hope someday it will just disappear. My head is only that big.



Question: I always wonder who I can confide in. Till now, no one truly knows me. Has anyone bother to truly know? Who would be willing to listen to my true worries rather than the other way round? I am just alone.

Monday, May 7, 2012

等待自由的一天。。

我累了。 已经找不到动力前进。 我心里脑里有想做的事, 也有非得做的事。非得做的事使在是太多到我快喘不过气来了。这是我第一次觉得出国回来后反而觉得更累。好想把全部的事抛开,找个角落独自一个人坐着。。没有烦恼。。 做我心里想做的事。一天就好。。 可以吗?

可是等久久吧。。 这几个星期是不肯能的事。 只好快点做好才能快点回到舒服的床。。 再面对另外一天的到来。。

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Long Due Updates...

I finally writing a blog post again! Guess its time for some updates of my life and to be able to remember what i have done in 2011 when i look back in the future.

2011 has been a remarkable year in terms of accomplishing my passions. :D

Dance

From young, i have been exposed to Chinese dance cum ballet. But i had to stop classes in pri school when the school moved far far away. (Deemed far for my parents at that time.. tanjong pagar to tao payoh)  It wasn't my choice to stop classes. My parents just decided for me. And it was a regret from young that i didn't appreciate my time spent in dance classes. It was not easy and i didn't always look forward to the hours of training. But i truly only realised how much i love dancing after classes stop. This was not known to anyone. Other than the opportunity i had to dance for Guides in Sec School, i didn't have any other avenue for me to dance again. (what can i do without any income to learn dance :x) So finally after starting work i am able dance again in June 2011! woohoo~~ dream come true!

Researched and found Celine Jessandra School of Performing Arts online.. and together with Jee, Yupei & Chin Hong, we signed up for K-pop Hip Hop classes! Absolutely no regrets in taking my first baby steps out to learn dance again! The rest have stop taking up classes (except Jee who i guess will occasionally join me for MV dances), but i am still dancing. Till date i have completed abt 30 basic classes & 2 MV class (Lucifer & Mr. Simple) :) Still have a long way to go but for 2012, i am determined to improved more in my dance! Be more confident & have my own style! As well as try and learn dances on my own! *excited*

Korean

Learning korean wasn't my passion since young. Neither was learning any language. But i guess with my interest in the kpop (music and dramas), i just slowly came to love it and have been interested in learning the language. Huifang, Lijing, Cheryl and myself bought Groupon coupons to start learning korean in the 2nd half of 2011. My first exposure to hangul. Through the classes, i managed to learn how to pronounce and read korean characters, and was truly ready to continue learning until the school cheated us of our money :( yesh.. the principal run away. But i am determined to learn!! Was surfing the net to compile my korean notes when i found talktomeinkorean.com :D Finally found a structured way for me to learn korean on my own! Though i am learning at a super slow rate now (once a week) but hopefully i would be competent enough for me to bring my parents around when we visit Seoul in April!

Piano / Keyboard

And finally, my one true passion since young (and again i guess no one knew until much later). I don't remember why my parents bought for me a mini keyboard when i was young, but i do remembered asking them to sign me up for piano lessons. But the answer was NO! :( because i had drama and dance classes at that time and they felt i was not able to cope. So i just had to wait very patiently for the day i am able to learn the piano. Eventually sometime in Uni, my dad bought for me a proper keyboard after he saw me fiddling with my old mini keyboard that was on the verge of spoiling. (the sound was just off) Jasmine & Jee also bought for me the dummy guide to learning keyboard so that i can learn on my own. But guiltily, i didn't managed to learn it :( So in 2012... i am finally learning keyboard at a school (groupon coupon again :p) Hopefully, i am able to preserver and eventually be able to read music scores and play songs (kpop?) on my keyboard :D

Opps.. lengthy story abt my passions but these are things that i look forward to doing every weekend. And i am really glad that i am able to accomplished them in 2011 and beyond! Guess i am now living life to the fullest! With all these said, i do hope it does not affect my work. It's a thought that is always at the back of my mind when i am doing what i love. :x

But nevertheless, i am enjoying the moment~ Something is still missing in my life but i would wait patiently for it.

Travels
I was fortunate to be able to travel quite a bit in 2011 (with family and friends). Hokkaido was first on the list and my parents and i went there when it was winter :D Snow!! Followed by a trip with my parents to Shenzhen, Zhuhai & HK in place of our cancelled Japan trip due to the earthquake. (Just wanted to get away from work) Then i was back again in HK with char and her friend in the later part of 2011. :D I just love travelling~ And i really need these short getaways from work. But my boss did mentioned why i was travelling so much :x opps~ (But i really need to clear leave too!)

Work
My time in 2011 was mainly spent on the one big project in the West. It really took one whole year from preparation to finally its award. Not an easy year due to the dynamics of the team. But i am glad it is finally over, and i truly wished i would not be haunt by it in the years to come!

Side note: 2011(and 2012) was also the year i went to tons of musicals and concerts! First time in my 24 years did i spend so much on such entertainments.. opps.. but no regrets! First up was Lion King, then it was MAMA 2011, followed by Girls Generation concert, then in 2012, Wicked!!! (<3 the song 'Defying Gravity') & 19 Feb is Super Junior concert! (Kyuhyun!)

Seems like 2011 is a happening year for me! Hopefully 2012 will not pale in comparison and every year would be better!

Guess that's all for now.. :D

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Confirmation :)

Today marks the day I have worked for 6 months and is also the day I have pass my probation period (even though I've receive my confirmation letter 3 weeks ago :p ) how time flies~

Looking back at these 6 months, I'm glad at where I've ended up even though I admit I did grumble and whine abt the dept or the gp I was allocated at the beginning :p
Fate (or some ppl wld say god) has let me end up in a place where I am suited to be to learn for the next 2-3 years and where sufficient opportunities and exposure are provided for me :) now it is up to me to step out of my comfort zone and step up to the plate :)

I guess the lesson to learn from here is that I shldnt worry or grumble too much! Eventually things wld work out. Just let nature take it's course and I wld be fine. Guess I just never learn my lesson and I will keep being a worry freak :p

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Away from home~

Seeing char go off to London for post grad studies, and providing char with recipes to cook for dinner, e feeling of leaving overseas again is coming back. For once, I wished I was able to be in a job that let me live a life overseas, or even provide me an opportunity to go for courses overseas just like what my dad was able to do in his career. Guess I just crave some independence and luxury of being to explore places.

Alternative is to further my studies overseas, but that's not on my agenda for now :(

How I wish I can visit char~

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

i ponder..

are we then sacrificial lambs? i really wonder...

Friday, September 17, 2010

Work-life balance?

How can one actually achieve work life balance? *ponders*

Different company cultures wld 'train' newbies different.. Some let them learn at their own pace.. Some guide them through slowly.. Some throw them into e fire.. Some put them through many 'test' to see how much work they can endure..
No idea which method is better or worse.. The grass is always greener on the other side.. But my only wish now is that 'bombs' will stop falling from above!
Major obstacles to overcome end of next wk.. I hope I do well in it and leave a favorable impression.. 'stress*
Really need to get some vitamin c to boost my immune system~

Lots of things have happened within this 3+ gg to 4 months since I have started work.. There's happy times, stressful times, frustrated times.. Hope to pen it down real soon..