Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
2012 in a post...
And like that, 2012 went by and we are on the first day of the 2013 (which has ended by the time i finish this post).
For me, 2012 was a good and bad year, esp during the middle of the year :( Was just reading the post i did in 2011, and i realised out of dance, korean & piano, i am only really pursuing dance at the moment :x though Korean language is still done once in a while and i am still not competent in the language! :(
Anyways, with my broken Korean, my parents and I went to Korea in April! It was our 2nd visit to Korea & it was free and easy this time round. We got to really walk the streets of Seoul & even went hiking! :D First time seeing rows and rows of cherry blossoms too! Really like Korea and i hope to be able to go back there in 2013? :p Be able to travel to more outskirt areas and get to immerse in their culture & eat lots of their food! (not forgetting shopping!) *Something which i doubt will be fulfilled this year..*
The following months after was just work, and just as i thought everything was smooth sailing and i could take a breather, life just have to give me a wake up call. It's like a reminder that as always, nothing is easy for me in life and i have to work/strive for it, and even so, nothing is within my control. (long story coming up...)
Sometime in July (actually 15th July to be exact), there was signs that my lower left gums was starting to swell. It was just feeling slightly sore towards the end of my trip to the Garden Festival at Suntec, but by the next day (Monday), i could barely eat. My lower left gums were really swollen and trying to eat was torturous. It wld cause me throbbing headache. I thought it would just go away, but by Tuesday, my right lower gums started to feel swollen. Decided to visit the dentist (Q&M) during lunch time, and it was then that they discovered some abnormality in my jaw after doing X-rays and CT scans. The gum swelling was just not normal, but to make matters worse, they found that my left jaw is twice the size of my right jaw. The assistant mentioned it could be due to my previous wisdom tooth extraction? I was given anti-biotics and an appt was made to see an oral surgeon on Thursday. Totally felt at lost at that point of time as the dentist mentioned the possibility of teeth extractions / jaw procedures etc due to the 'growth' in my jaw, and i broke down once i came out of the room.
Wednesday - I visited my own dentist to get his 2nd opinion, and if he had other recommendations. Also wanted to see if he had my previous X-rays to determine when my jaw started growing. He didn't have any and in any case his x-rays were useless due to its small size. My dentist just completely ignored my swelling gums and did cleaning of my teeth -_-'' *Pain* Other than that, not much help from him
Thursday - Maybe the cleaning did helped, and coupled with the antibiotics, my gum wasn't as painful on Thursday, but still swelling. After work, i went down with my parents to see the oral surgeon at Q&M. It wasn't good news as she wanted a procedure to be done asap to determine if the growth was cancerous or not. There's was a possibility it was a cyst, a fibro-osseous lesion, or something else which i forgot :x It it was cyst, it had to be removed immediately. >_< But first they had to do a biopsy. I was feeling super stressed at that time, because my project was at it's peak stage, my manpower stuff was due, i had my dance rehearsals for concert (more later). I couldn't afford to be MIA for 1 wk (given the recent precedence at work)! I was also just told of all the diff possibilities that could happen and was on the verge of breaking down. I was still so young! Anw, i decided to proceed with the biopsy asap (like THE NEXT DAY!! T_T) I went back to office to try and wrap up my work so that i can hand over to my covering officer the next day. Also broke the news to my boss that i had to be away for 1 wk (and i am ashamed i couldn't keep back my tears at that time. :x)
Friday - Firstly, I had to go to Outram polyclinic at 8am to get a recommendation letter so that i can get subsidised rates for all the procedures. Then I rush back to office to inform my supervisor and hand over all my work. The procedure was supposed to be done in the afternoon and i only had to 'report' to NDC after lunch. But due to the lack of operating theatre, my procedure was pushed forward, i didn't even have time to clear my work! Just had to let my supervisor clear my estimate with my boss, and rushed down to NDC. Did another round of CT scan and i was sent off to have an early lunch else i won't be able to eat for the rest of the day. By the time my procedure was to commence, it was already 2pm and luckily my mum managed to rushed down in time to accompany me. The next part is not for the faint hearted.. when i meant procedure, it was actually a minor operation. First time lying in an operation theatre, and with only localised anesthetic. T_T Which means i was aware of the entire procedure! My eyes were covered like what you see in shows, with the radio on in the background, but i am totally aware of the surgeon cutting open my gums, drilling a hole into my jaw, chiselling at my jaw bone to get out samples. T_T My body was totally tensed for the 1hr procedure, hands involuntarily shaking at times, but i am very grateful for the nurse who was holding my hands for the 1 hr. Didn't get to really thank her for providing me such support, and I am very sorry for squeezing her hands so tightly. During the operation, from the conversation of the surgeons i knew it was not cyst *phew*. And once the surgeons got their samples, it was just stitching up. Got to rest a while, and then i was allowed to go home with a bleeding stitched gum, and a 5 days MC.
Couldn't eat or talk properly for the next few days due to the stitches and a really really swollen left face. (side effects of the operation) Swelling took more than a wk to subside, and so i returned to work with a slightly swollen face the following wed. I remembered even after 5 days MC, i still cannot laugh or open my mouth too widely without feeling the tightness of the stitches. Got the biopsy results abt a wk later, and it was fibro-osseous lesion / ossifying fibroma (i think it meant the same. Basically it just that my bone is no longer bone mass. It has become something like tissues and it is growing). Nothing i can do to stop its growth and nothing life threatening unless it keeps growing and pushing against my jaw nerve. If so, my appearance will change (left side of the face becomes bigger) and i will start to feel numbness/pain in my left jaw. By then, i will have to do the major op to remove my left jaw so that can 斩草除根. T_T I am still young and i don't want that to happen!! But this is the only remedy. Initially they proposed that it was possible to do a clean out of the stuff in my jaw, but that wld also have the possibility of affecting my jaw nerve and then i will feel long-term numbness on my left side, and the bone may still continue to grow after that. So this was thrown out of the window.
For me, 2012 was a good and bad year, esp during the middle of the year :( Was just reading the post i did in 2011, and i realised out of dance, korean & piano, i am only really pursuing dance at the moment :x though Korean language is still done once in a while and i am still not competent in the language! :(
Anyways, with my broken Korean, my parents and I went to Korea in April! It was our 2nd visit to Korea & it was free and easy this time round. We got to really walk the streets of Seoul & even went hiking! :D First time seeing rows and rows of cherry blossoms too! Really like Korea and i hope to be able to go back there in 2013? :p Be able to travel to more outskirt areas and get to immerse in their culture & eat lots of their food! (not forgetting shopping!) *Something which i doubt will be fulfilled this year..*
The following months after was just work, and just as i thought everything was smooth sailing and i could take a breather, life just have to give me a wake up call. It's like a reminder that as always, nothing is easy for me in life and i have to work/strive for it, and even so, nothing is within my control. (long story coming up...)
Sometime in July (actually 15th July to be exact), there was signs that my lower left gums was starting to swell. It was just feeling slightly sore towards the end of my trip to the Garden Festival at Suntec, but by the next day (Monday), i could barely eat. My lower left gums were really swollen and trying to eat was torturous. It wld cause me throbbing headache. I thought it would just go away, but by Tuesday, my right lower gums started to feel swollen. Decided to visit the dentist (Q&M) during lunch time, and it was then that they discovered some abnormality in my jaw after doing X-rays and CT scans. The gum swelling was just not normal, but to make matters worse, they found that my left jaw is twice the size of my right jaw. The assistant mentioned it could be due to my previous wisdom tooth extraction? I was given anti-biotics and an appt was made to see an oral surgeon on Thursday. Totally felt at lost at that point of time as the dentist mentioned the possibility of teeth extractions / jaw procedures etc due to the 'growth' in my jaw, and i broke down once i came out of the room.
Wednesday - I visited my own dentist to get his 2nd opinion, and if he had other recommendations. Also wanted to see if he had my previous X-rays to determine when my jaw started growing. He didn't have any and in any case his x-rays were useless due to its small size. My dentist just completely ignored my swelling gums and did cleaning of my teeth -_-'' *Pain* Other than that, not much help from him
Thursday - Maybe the cleaning did helped, and coupled with the antibiotics, my gum wasn't as painful on Thursday, but still swelling. After work, i went down with my parents to see the oral surgeon at Q&M. It wasn't good news as she wanted a procedure to be done asap to determine if the growth was cancerous or not. There's was a possibility it was a cyst, a fibro-osseous lesion, or something else which i forgot :x It it was cyst, it had to be removed immediately. >_< But first they had to do a biopsy. I was feeling super stressed at that time, because my project was at it's peak stage, my manpower stuff was due, i had my dance rehearsals for concert (more later). I couldn't afford to be MIA for 1 wk (given the recent precedence at work)! I was also just told of all the diff possibilities that could happen and was on the verge of breaking down. I was still so young! Anw, i decided to proceed with the biopsy asap (like THE NEXT DAY!! T_T) I went back to office to try and wrap up my work so that i can hand over to my covering officer the next day. Also broke the news to my boss that i had to be away for 1 wk (and i am ashamed i couldn't keep back my tears at that time. :x)
Friday - Firstly, I had to go to Outram polyclinic at 8am to get a recommendation letter so that i can get subsidised rates for all the procedures. Then I rush back to office to inform my supervisor and hand over all my work. The procedure was supposed to be done in the afternoon and i only had to 'report' to NDC after lunch. But due to the lack of operating theatre, my procedure was pushed forward, i didn't even have time to clear my work! Just had to let my supervisor clear my estimate with my boss, and rushed down to NDC. Did another round of CT scan and i was sent off to have an early lunch else i won't be able to eat for the rest of the day. By the time my procedure was to commence, it was already 2pm and luckily my mum managed to rushed down in time to accompany me. The next part is not for the faint hearted.. when i meant procedure, it was actually a minor operation. First time lying in an operation theatre, and with only localised anesthetic. T_T Which means i was aware of the entire procedure! My eyes were covered like what you see in shows, with the radio on in the background, but i am totally aware of the surgeon cutting open my gums, drilling a hole into my jaw, chiselling at my jaw bone to get out samples. T_T My body was totally tensed for the 1hr procedure, hands involuntarily shaking at times, but i am very grateful for the nurse who was holding my hands for the 1 hr. Didn't get to really thank her for providing me such support, and I am very sorry for squeezing her hands so tightly. During the operation, from the conversation of the surgeons i knew it was not cyst *phew*. And once the surgeons got their samples, it was just stitching up. Got to rest a while, and then i was allowed to go home with a bleeding stitched gum, and a 5 days MC.
Couldn't eat or talk properly for the next few days due to the stitches and a really really swollen left face. (side effects of the operation) Swelling took more than a wk to subside, and so i returned to work with a slightly swollen face the following wed. I remembered even after 5 days MC, i still cannot laugh or open my mouth too widely without feeling the tightness of the stitches. Got the biopsy results abt a wk later, and it was fibro-osseous lesion / ossifying fibroma (i think it meant the same. Basically it just that my bone is no longer bone mass. It has become something like tissues and it is growing). Nothing i can do to stop its growth and nothing life threatening unless it keeps growing and pushing against my jaw nerve. If so, my appearance will change (left side of the face becomes bigger) and i will start to feel numbness/pain in my left jaw. By then, i will have to do the major op to remove my left jaw so that can 斩草除根. T_T I am still young and i don't want that to happen!! But this is the only remedy. Initially they proposed that it was possible to do a clean out of the stuff in my jaw, but that wld also have the possibility of affecting my jaw nerve and then i will feel long-term numbness on my left side, and the bone may still continue to grow after that. So this was thrown out of the window.
Anw since then, i had a review in Dec. Nothing abnormal for now, and the next review will be in 6 mths time. Hopefully, and i pray hard, that everything will remain status quo. For now, i only can monitor. I still don't know when my jaw actually started growing. Been looking through all my past photos, and i only can say it was between JC - Uni years? Maybe i shld start taking monthly passport photos of myself to monitor... You can see my enlarged left jaw below. >_<
In the midst of the crazy 1 wk (from knowing abt my jaw till the op), i was also preparing for my dance recital. Just put in my name for it and went for 1 round of rehearsals, and my jaw problem came up. >_< I confessed i am guilty of not properly resting after my op and going down for rehearsals with my swollen left face. Looking at the videos recorded, i don't know how i had the guts to even step out of the hse with my face in that situation. But everyone thought i had wisdom tooth extraction (if only it was so simple.. and wisdom tooth extraction will not lead to swollen face!), and the instructors let me mark steps. Even so, it was not easy and tiring to my jaw.
That was the hiccup in 2012, from there it can only get better. :) I was excited to be able to go up on stage again to perform. The last time i was up on stage, i was in primary school! I decided to perform in 3 items (max allowed per student) - Sherlock, Mr Simple & Basic Class item. Crazy rehearsals schedule which burnt all my wkends, and some wkday nights. But it was totally worth it!! *Happy that Evy lao shi said that i have improved! :p* Now i have to work on my facial expressions!
The best thing gained out of this concert is that i met some awesome peeps! Mr Simple was the only item of the whole concert where none of the crew members were in it and i guess that allowed us to bond together. We are now called the Simpletons (we are not dumb if u know what i mean), and i am really glad to know these group of friends in 2012! It's really amazing that we have all come together because of our passion for dance and of cos the love for Super Junior. No words can explain how happy i am to know them, seeing them every Sat just makes my day. Going out for meals together, preparing for performances, supporting one another in everything we do. :D Really looking forward to our Simpleton Show 3!
The next highlight of 2012 wld then have to be the trip to Turkey with Hui Fang, Wei Chen & Xiao Qian! :D Woohoo!! We finally got to visit Turkey after it was thrown out as a grad trip destination! As always, i love the breathtaking views and natural landscape! :D As well as the cultural/historical portion of Turkey (though for that i prefer Egypt :x) The demographics of the tour groups made the whole trip much more fun, being that there were so many young folks. Xiao Qian was my buddy throughout the whole trip and am really glad we complement each other so well! :D Awesome travelling buddy and hope we can travel together again soon!
I guess that sums up 2012. Through all these, i learnt to treasure my health more. I can tell that my body has suffered a lot since i started work. For 23 years of my life, i hardly fall sick. But i have been falling sick at least once every year since i started work. I don't feel as healthy as before, and my immune system is not as strong. (Maybe because i am getting older too?) Sometimes i feel that i have 辜负 my mum who had ensured i have a strong and healthy body since young. Within 2 years, i have let everything she had done since i was young gone wasted :( Now with my jaw, i have to be healthy! I must! I also finally 领悟 that at work, urgent things can also wait. Health is still more impt. Enjoy and treasure the moment!
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